Dear Diary – Week Seven in Javea

This week I was productive, even though I was lacking energy and enthusiasm for any type of work. I realised that for anything that feels like a chore you just have to force yourself. Give yourself the push you need because no one is going to do it for you. I also realised that I really enjoy sharing my knowledge and experiences in order to help other people. So I will use this to my advantage when creating content for my new blog and YouTube channel.

Saturday 2nd March

I had a slow start to the day today, with a little layin followed by organising finances. I had a spontaneous message from Deborah asking if I wanted to pop out for a walk at the beach. So I joined her and her daughter Lizzie for a lovely walk along the Arenal and along a rock path along the coast. It was a stunning, hot morning and great to get outside.

In the afternoon we went to the town carnival. This involved lots of children and some adults dressed in fancy dress parading around the old town. It was lovely to see families all the getting involved and I got to see more of the old town. After the parade, Deborah and I went for dinner at the port. Some lovely tapas with a beautiful view of the sea and the sunset rounded off a nice afternoon.

Sunday 3rd March

Today I was lacking energy again. I had prearranged to meet up with Deborah when she finished her Spin class. My intention was to go for a 5K run before we then went for a short run together. Before I met Deborah I was really lacking motivation and only managed a 10 min jog.

Deb hasn’t been running in a long time but wanted to try and get back into it. So we went for a jog from the Spin class down to the seafront. I thought it would be best to do intervals to start with. This is how I got back into running, doing the couch to 5K app training and building up from there. So we did 1-minute run, 1-minute walk for a full 30 mins. This took us down to the beach and along the seafront.

The day picked up

Deborah did really well, and I was really glad for this less intense exercise. It made up for my lack of effort before. After the run, I went home for a shower and to crack on with some of the content course. I couldn’t stop thinking about the lovely weather, so I messaged Deborah to see if she wanted to go out. I thought it might be nice if we went somewhere quiet to read. We had both said how we wanted to read some more so this was a perfect opportunity.

Later in the afternoon, we met up again, this time with Lizzie. Deborah and Lizzie picked me up and we went somewhere new. A beautiful rocky beach area a short distance from my local stretch of beach. Lizzie was doing her homework and exploring while Deborah and I read. It was a lovely thing to do in the afternoon. When the sun dropped too low to keep us warm we headed home again. I then spent the evening on my content course and completed it before bed. I really enjoyed the course and I have found some more with Hubspot I will look into doing.

Monday 4th March

I had a really productive morning at work. I am really enjoying having the limited time to work on Vooba related stuff. A bit of admin work builds up while I am off towards the end of the week. This means I have everything I need on a Monday to smash through a load of tasks. Working through my email list brings quick wins by completing small tasks. The remaining 3 hours of my half day are spent doing website changes. I love how quickly I can get through these and impress the clients.

Whilst completing my morning work I realised my computer was getting quite slow and running out of memory. I, therefore, spent the afternoon digitally filing all my work away. In order to make some space, I transferred everything Vooba related from my laptop to a hard drive. I then moved a lot of unused personal files off the laptop and storing them in various Google clouds. My laptop seems to be running a lot smoother now.  

I was also able to get some blog writing done after the filing. As well as helping out my cousin with some business and social ideas. He was considering going self-employed and I had some suggestions that I thought could help. I really like the feeling you get from helping someone and seeing how much they appreciate it. Proving value to people is so rewarding. I love sharing the knowledge I am gaining by doing courses and ideas that I have for other peoples projects.

Tuesday 5th March

This morning motivation to get going was severely lacking, I really did not feel like working. After an hour or so of struggling, I somehow snapped out of it and my day turned around. My productivity rocketed and I got a lot of work done. I was also able to get to know another member of the Vooba team a lot better. We realised we had something positive in common so it was great to get to know him better. After work, I scheduled some more Instagram posts for my side project account.

Wednesday 6th March

Today I worked with Andy and Deborah. It was a bit of an upsetting start to the morning. The colleague I had only just yesterday realised our common interest was let go. I just wish I made the time to speak more to him a lot sooner.

After work, Deborah and I booked some more of our trip to Madrid. In the evening we tried a kickboxing class. Each of us enjoyed different elements of the class but both of us decided that it wasn’t really for us. It did make me think that a self-defence class might be worth looking into when I get home though.

Thursday 7th March

Today I organised my brain dump notebook into my organised Google Keep. I spent some time blogging and planning for the rest of the week/weened and I scheduled some more posts for Instagram. It was a bit of an odds and sods day. Spending most of it at the laptop rather than outside which was a shame but had to be done.

Friday 8th March

This morning, again I was not feeling it and had little energy for a run. I had promised myself after my day in front of the computer yesterday that I would get back on it. So I forced myself out of the house for what I thought would be a 15 min run. As I was running though I had a serious talk with myself.

How am I going to push through some bigger upcoming challenges if I cannot make myself do the full 5K? I thought about some of the video’s I have been watching recently. In particular one with Mel Robbins. She says that you are never going to feel like it. As a child, you don’t feel like a lot of things, but your parents make you as it’s for your own good. As an adult, you have to find the self-motivation to do things that you don’t want to do.

Why is this time different?

Around this time last year, I really got into running. I was making a lot of progress, losing weight and getting my 5K time down. I even managed to complete 10K and 10 mile runs. Now I am trying to do the same and it’s just not happening. I thought about why that might be and realised that last year I didn’t have a lot to focus on. This year I am trying to improve, health, both mental & physical, diet, career and finances. As well as maintaining a blog and setting up a side project whilst still working. I have so many things that require my energy, that I didn’t have before. That’s why I can’t progress properly with all of them, I have spread myself too thin.

So after forcing myself to complete 5K, because mum wasn’t there to make me, I went home to get dressed. I packed a bag and walked to the beach we had visited on Sunday. My plan was to get some filming done to create more content for YouTube. I wasn’t really feeling that either, I had lost my confidence a little. The video I had the most energy for was talking about what I had realised on my run earlier. I filmed for a few hours and after lunch spent time editing.

I had a bit of a wobble

Although I had been out in the sunshine and had a lovely time, I was feeling a bit deflated. I may have been tired from squinting into the sun or just randomly emotional. But I was starting to doubt everything I have been doing to improve my life so far this trip. Why was I doing this side project? Nothing is going to change! All the things the business people I follow talk about, self-doubt, imposter syndrome, limiting beliefs, fear of failing, all started to overwhelm me. I didn’t know how to stop it and I couldn’t move forward with anything productive for the rest of the evening. Doing anything more productive was off for the day, I had to stop and have a Netflix binge. I just hoped I would feel better in the morning.  

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