Don’t Take Your Past into Your Future – A Look Inside My Journal
3 September 2019
Journalling is a tool I have known to be important for around a year now, but only recently understood the power of. In a business workshop, Sam gifted me a brand new journal. She also showed me some techniques, for journaling but I wanted to delve deeper. In this post, I share with you the results of a recent journalling session. It was on not bringing your past into your future.
Journalling should be private. It is a way for you to work through your innermost thoughts and feelings. But the letter I wrote to myself in my journal might be helpful for others to read so thought I would share it here.
But First a Little Background
When I went through a hard time last year I stumbled upon this world of entrepreneurs. Starting with Erin May Henry on YouTube, this grew to a network of entrepreneurial woman. I now follow many of Erin’s network including Ruby Lee and Kimberley Wenya. Sam Brown is a coaching client of Erin and she was the person who gave me the journal.
I go through phases of paying closer attention to each of them. Before I went to Spain I was binging on Erin’s videos. In Spain, I would listen to Ruby Lee’s podcast every time I did the 40-minute walk to the supermarket. I started listening to Sam’s podcast while I was in Barcelona. And I have been following Kimberley’s Instagram for her travels as I have been on my own.
The Power of the Mind
All these women are killing it in business and they have been a big inspiration to me. They have all talked about, journalling, the law of attraction and the power of mindset. I didn’t understand it all, but I was beginning to piece it together from the little bits I was hearing from each of them.
I was a bit sceptical of it to start with. They spoke of the universe having their back, crystals and all things a bit (in their words) “Woo Woo”. It all sounded a bit like a religion, something more spiritual than I was open to last year. But I loved their energy and the messages they were sharing with the world and I didn’t want to turn away from it all.
As a Manifestation Coach, Kimberley Wenya is the most “woo woo” of all the people I follow. I didn’t understand, and wasn’t open to understanding earlier in the year, what she was all about. But I loved the fact she has built a successful business and is travelling the world. So I continued to follow her journey and listen to what she had to say. It was all positive so why not.
I Understood the Magic
When I did the business workshop with Sam in Brisbane, all this mindset stuff started to click into place. She gave us the tools to help work through the blocks or limiting beliefs when building a business. Tony Robbins came up in conversation that day as Sam was soon off to one of his events in Vegas. I was curious what it was all about so watched his Netflix documentary “I am not your guru”.
I had goosebumps and I cried several times throughout. I had seen what the power of the mind could do. How you can completely change your life from taking control of your thoughts. As Brooke Castillo discusses “when you have control of your thoughts, you can change your feelings, your feelings create your actions and your actions drive results. I had watched Tony Robbins help people change their thoughts and so their lives in one of his events.
Seeing is Believing
Gary Vaynerchuk is always putting out the same content, the same message over and over again. He says that you might hear him say something 60 times over and over. But it might take seeing it in a different form or hearing it on a particular day for it to actually stick.
This was the case for me with tackling my mindset. I had already done a lot of mindset work. I had pulled myself out of a funk after a breakup and I was working on developing myself without realising I was doing it. I was listening to many people telling me how important mindset it but it wasn’t sticking…. Until I saw that Tony Robbins documentary.
Without knowing how to journal or why I was writing, I turned off my laptop picked up my pen and started to write. I wrote 2 pages in my journal about how I felt watching that documentary. As I wrote I found myself delving into my relationship with my sister and wishing things could be different. This is something I hadn’t realised was an issue for me. I thought my issues were with my ex and the relationship we have. But it turns out there was more in my head that needed working through.
I put down my pen and felt a weight had lifted. The next morning I went for a run, something I had been struggling with since I arrived in Australia. I hadn’t yet managed over 2K since arriving here. That morning I ran with complete control over my mind. I told myself over and over that I was unstoppable. I thought to myself that I could run 5K, I had done it before there was no reason I couldn’t do it again. I repeated affirmations to myself the whole way in my head. I smashed 5K and ended up running 12K that morning. I got back to the hostel on the biggest high I have felt in a long time. I had experienced for myself the power of having control of your thoughts.
I wanted to know more
It was then I started to pay closer attention to Kimberley Wenya. I had experienced a little of what the mind could do and I want to know what else I could achieve. I wanted to look into the law of attraction and manifestation more.
As if by magic (or the universe) Kimberley was holding a series of free training on the Success Mindset. The masterclasses were to promote her Quantum Shift Into Success course launch. Although I did not have the money to invest in the course I joined the free workshop. I learnt so much about improving the mindset for business success.
My Letter to Myself
This is where we come onto the letter. Each workshop discussed different topics around the mindset for success. The first one was about some limiting beliefs that we could have. Kimberley talked about not bringing your past into your future.
You have the ability to change your path. Your past does not determine who you are or where you are going. You can choose at any point to change direction. Don’t delay moving forward because of something that might have happened in the past.
The journaling prompt for this section was…
Write a letter to yourself telling yourself how you are not going to get in your own way.
Having only done mind downloads before following a prompt was a little difficult. Once I got into it I found it very useful. The results are something that you might resonate with too. I want to share this incase it helps anyone else that may have felt the way I did.
So here it is:
I am writing to you as a reminder that every single thing that has happened before this very moment is in the past. Your struggles at school, the struggles with friends and relationships. Embarrassing moments, awkward moments, moments where you have felt like there is nothing left to live for. The good days are memories your bad days are gone. You no longer need to be shy or lacking confidence. You no longer need to be the most common or unsuccessful person in the group. You don’t have to want the same things you once did. You don’t have to be the version of yourself your friends want you to be before the heartbreak. You don’t need to go back to be in a place where you were happy.
You are you, as you are now. Your experiences good and bad have shaped you into the person you are now. Every moment that passes you are new. Going forward you can be whoever you want to be. Nothing that has been before needs to be an excuse or a reason for why you can’t do whatever you want. Your life is your own, you are only here once so make sure you live it to its absolute fullest. You can look back with fondness over great moments but look back only to see how far you have come. Do not let it shape who you are becoming.
So stop looking back at who you were and crack the fuck on with being who you want to be!
Lots of Love
A Lesser Version of you x
So there you have it, that’s what came out. Excuse the poor grammar and difficult to read sentences but that is the raw unedited thoughts that came out of my head. Some of that letter is personal to me. I was a part of a very clever group of friends and at times I felt like I was the most “common” or not as clever as them.
More Lessons Learned From Journalling
I explored this further with some of the other prompts that Kimberley gave us. I realised that it was my fixed mindset holding me back. I was thinking my friends were naturally cleaver. I also wanted to be one of the cooler kids who did not do as well with their grades.
What I have realised is, my friends were not naturally cleaver. They wanted to the good grades more, they aspired to be more than I did therefor they worked harder and saw better results. My want to gain acceptance from the cool kids meant I didn’t want to do as well. I was comfortable cruising along at the bottom of the cleaver crowd so I never push myself to achieve more.
I have unlocked so much about my way of thinking by following some of these journaling prompts. I have started thinking about the ‘why’ behind some of my thoughts and feelings. I have realised why I felt like time was slipping away from me when I was in a relationship. It was because I was wishing it away, I wanted to get to a certain stage of life faster and so I wasn’t enjoying the now.
I Didn’t Set The Bar High Enough
I also realised why I have never aimed particularly high with my career and financial goals. I have always looked at my parents as role models and wanted my life to look like theirs. My mum has always worked hard but never been a high earner. She has still managed to have the life I dream of having on a lower wage. She was proof to me that I didn’t need to have much money to have a great life.
I now understand this meant I never set the bar high for myself, I never wanted to achieve much in my career. Although I was grateful for the hard work and money that my dad was bringing into the family I never factored this into my thinking. I suppose part of me was conforming to stereotypes, assuming I would find a man like my dad who had a similar income.
When I left uni, I had that man. I was in a stable relationship and it looked likely we would get married and have children. I had worked out the finances and knew how to save. I knew we could afford the life I wanted without me aiming higher in my career. I guess this is why I didn’t progress fast in the work environment. I didn’t set the bar high enough, I wasn’t aiming for much more than I already had.
It wasn’t until that relationship ended that I started to set bigger income goals for myself. As I have got older and more independent I want for more. I want to contribute in a big way the income of my future household. I also realise that it is no longer possible to have the life my parents have had leaning more on a man’s income. I can only rely on myself to provide for myself. Anything extra needs to be a bonus, not a given.
Now I know What’s Holding Me Back I can Move Forward
Now I am aware of these limiting beliefs I can start to change the way I think and feel about them. By doing this my actions have already started to change. I dream bigger, invest in myself and believe in myself more. I am on a constant mission to improving myself and figuring out a way to achieve my goals. I am conscious of my downfalls and looking for ways to work around them. And I am always trying to catch my negative thoughts before they change the way I feel.
I am a work in progress, as we all are. We will have our bad days, still, think negative thoughts and struggle to get out of our own way. But by having the tools, writing things down and working through your problems you can get yourself back on course. You can be successful or do whatever it is you want to do in life, without letting your past hold you back.
To Sum Up
I hope this post wasn’t too long and rambling and too personal to me. I hope that you were able to get something out of reading it. Maybe this will inspire you to take up journaling too. As you can see it’s changing my life. I hope by sharing a few my innermost thoughts, you can be inspired to change your life too.